The Creepy Lady

 Admittedly, the creepiest women fly on brooms. 

Witches. 

Well this isn't technically a witch but she sure scared Henry out of his wits.

 

While in California at my Grandpa's house we cleaned out his kitchen. In the corner clinging to a broom was this lovely specimen of 1980's craftiness. Yes, she is holding a goose. Yes, she has a pantyhose face. Yes, she has seen better days having spend the better part of two decades hovering very near the floor. I suggested pitching her in the trash only to find out that my Aunt Carolyn, who was standing three feet away from me had made the lady in question and given it to my grandparents as a gift. She swatted at me in mock offense and we joked about changing styles in crafting. In the end, she remained in the kitchen, a faded and dingy guardian of domesticity. 

A couple of days ago I got a mysterious package in the mail from my aunt. Hmm...I figured it was something from Grandpa's house since they had just emptied it out. To my surprise and delight, there she was, stuffed into a kleenex box. I love my Aunt Carolyn for sending this to me.  So funny. 

This picture is supposed to capture her sinister creepiness. Beady eyes hidden behind bare bones wire frames, squinting into the depths of your soul. Toothless mouth whose shape isn't so much smile but an acknowledgment that she knows your darkest secrets. Goose in hand. Don't let the bow fool you, her evil pet will rip you to shreds with his dark bill. Hands dirty with years of misdeeds.

So Henry of course was immediately intrigued and wanted to see the "lay" (lady) up close. Quick investigations had him backing away and me, being the awesome mother that I am, chased after him with her. Shaking her and following closely, I backed him into a corner where he burst into tears. After that I locked the lady into the bathroom until I could take pictures. Henry enacted revenge by not napping at all that day. Henry 1, Mom 0. She is now happily on her way to the dumpster since I couldn't really have this creepy lady in my home.