Today I had an epiphany of sorts. As you know I have been frequenting the gym. I have worked out a schedule of workouts and today is my day to run a 5k. I have been keeping track of my times in my phone, trying to beat my previous time is going to be the goal. I have been kind of stuck at a 12 minute mile for a long time. Even during the 10K, I think I averaged about 12 minutes a mile. Its an easy doable pace I could see myself running for a distance. Well today I really pushed myself and I ran the fastest 5K of my life, an 11 minute mile for all 3.1 miles. I beat my previous time by over 4 minutes. Now that might not seem like a very big deal but I really am proud. I pushed myself and I even increased my speed for the last bit to finish strong. And I know I can beat that time because even though I was dripping sweat, I wasn't dying or even breathing heavily.
So here is the epiphany. As I was running, I was thinking. Why have I always thought I wasn't athletic? Here I am pushing myself physically, making goals and achieving them but I still think I can't do it. I have put this label on myself: beckie = not athletic. It's a label I've carried around with me as long as I can remember. In high school, I didn't really like playing sports so I guess I just turned it into "I am not athletic" and hence not able to do anything physical. I was smart and bookish, not sporty. And even though I have failed a lot, all those times I headed out for a long run but came home after less than 2 miles, I knew I could do it eventually. You know that thought that runs through your mind as you're heading home, "I should have worked a little harder on that, next time!"
Why do we label ourselves? I find myself doing it all the time. Oh, I'm just not musical. Even positive labels, "I'm creative" can be detrimental. I find myself getting lazy with my creativity because it comes naturally to me instead of really trying to hone my skills and develop new ones. That is why I signed up for this drawing class, to really push myself to improve and try new things. That is why I am at the gym, trying to be healthy and push my body to new strengths.
I know, kind of deep thoughts for a morning run. Think about it though, are you limiting your potential because of some self assigned label that isn't even valid? I know I am.
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Good job pushing yourself! I'm impressed. I totally do that (labeling myself negatively) and I need to try not to. I've actually talked to a few middle school and high school math teacher friends about kids who say they're "bad at math." They use it as an excuse to not try, like it's an unchangeable trait. It totally keeps them from trying! Anyway. Interesting.
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